Beautiful Body

I haven't been on here for a while now, but decided it was time.
I want to write a little about the human body. What makes it beautiful? Will you only be considered beautiful if you are as thin as a skeleton, or are you beautiful once you've accepted your body?
Lots of people have told me that your body is as beautiful as it can get when you have accepted it, but that doesn't mean that other people will find me beautiful. I don't consider myself beautiful or pretty or anything like that. Not whining but just sharing my thoughts.
So models. They are thin cause they have to be, otherwise they wont get hired. I could never be a model, I am simply not thin or special enough. And that I do accept. But, why is it that more and more young girls and boys gets eating disorders? I know, since I have one myself... I think what triggered me was all the images at bus stops, magazines etc. of this underweight ladies. I wanted to look like them. I wanted to be thin and happy with my body. I wanted to be able to wear any dress or shirt and still look thin. I don't care if I wont have boobs or ability to get children... I just want to be able to do stuff I don't feel I can do with this fat on my body.
But having an eating disorder isn't easy, and I got trapped in this "other" world where I skipped food, threw up if I did have any and so it goes on. I wasn't able to have fun because I was always thinking too much about where we were going, and if I had the opportunity to throw up at the place, and if not what then would I do. Luckily my e.d. has gotten better and I don't throw up as much as I used to... But the thing is, when you first find this "new way" of losing weight fast, you will always remember and you can always get triggered to do it again. I don't know why I want to write about this, but it's been on my mind lately, and now I just had to write it all down. Maybe it helps?

I want all of you reading this to know, that... I know everyone tells you to lose weight in a healthy way, and yes it's hard, but trust me, it is so worth it! Work out and stuff is much better... You don't want to wake up one day and realize that you have been throwing up 5-10 times a day the last two years, and just feel your body giving up on you. It's not even yourself that's giving up, it's your body, and you can't do a thing about it. So pretty please stop before it's too late. I promise you everything will be okay.

idk what im doing.. but thank you for reading all of this.