I've noticed that sometimes this will happen: After a cut has healed, if wearing something tight on-top of that scar, a inner bleeding can happen. At least that's what I think is happening. When I look at that one particular scar, it itches, and then I notice redness, or more often red dots under the skin of the scar. Is it a small inner bleeding or is it just something else? I don't know. I might never know, but it's kind of freaky. I don't know where I'm going with this. I can't sleep, but I am extremly tired. I feel sick. I want to vomit, but the thought of walking to the bathroom is tiring. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I want to sleep. Rest. Get some energy. I want to go for a run. I want to put on make-up. I want to try to look good. But my body is acting up, and I can't stand it.
And... Oh yeah. What is His problem? We talked fine this weekend, but it is like out of the blue: BAM! We just don't talk that much. The only thing we've really talked/said to each other was either Hi/Hey(what ever) or we were in a small argument. Fuck Him. I'm not worth spending His valuable time on. I know that. I've always known that, but I keep wishing for Him to like me, and for Him to be a friend I can count on, and not just one that keeps walking away.
I feel like the reason He is walking away from me, is because of all my problems. He took one look at my new cuts. Didn't say anything, just left me. Nearly every time I say something, he talks back or mock me for the things I say and do. Call's me a slut/whore/slutmachine and other annoying things, that just makes me feel more worthless than I already do. Even though I know He's joking, a voice inside me keeps telling me he is not. I can't deal with that right now. If He doesn't want anything to do with me, that's His problem... I'll try to live with it.
-As it is right now... I don't feel like waking up in the morning. I can't stand this anymore. I just want to be normal. I want to fit in. I want to be skinny. I want to like myself. I just want and want too many things I know I'll never be able to get.
-I feel like puking.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Saturday: 27th October 2012
Right now, I feel like my life is a living hell. I don't know why I keep feeling sad. Keep being unhappy. Anyway... today. And yesterday. I couldn't vomit. My body refused to do it. It annoys me so much, and I guess that's part of the reason I am unhappy. I want to be thin. I want to be it now. I had lost some weight, but because my body refuses to help me, I'm putting it on again. I feel myself getting bigger, grosser, fatter and uglier... if that is even possible. Fuck. I just hate my body. So fucking unbelievably unattractive, gross, fat, ugly and just huge. I take up too much space. The world needs the space I take up. Why am I even living? at the moment I see no reason. The world would be better on without me. The people I know will be better without me. They wont have to be stuck with this annoying fat-ass bitch-whore I am. They would be happier.
With all that said. I need to smoke. I need a cigarette. Now. Please?
-Fuck my life.
With all that said. I need to smoke. I need a cigarette. Now. Please?
-Fuck my life.
so hey. i just ate twice as much food as i wanted to, just so it could help me vomit afterwards. my stomach is all full and disgusting. i couldnt get it out of my body... fucking disgusting creep i am. fuck my life.
anyway, what i really wanted to write is that i've been feeling sad and depressed for a long time. anyway, now i wanna ask my friend to coddle with me..
anyway, what i really wanted to write is that i've been feeling sad and depressed for a long time. anyway, now i wanna ask my friend to coddle with me..
Friday, October 19, 2012
some people are so unhappy with their bodies. They get depressed by looking down on their body. They just want to be skinny. Thats all. Some eat more than they should.. only trying to find comfort in food. Then they throw it up. Start smoking, barrely never touches food... unless throwing it up again.
The sad part is... there are too many people who feel this way, and does those things.
I'm one of them.
The sad part is... there are too many people who feel this way, and does those things.
I'm one of them.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
meehh...
Hey guys. I know it's been a long time since I've blogged. I just thought about it and felt a little bad bout it. So now I'm here again. I just wanted to write some of my thoughts down. Thinks I've been thinking about. Stuff I haven't shared on my blog I guess...
First of all I wanted to list three good things that happened yesterday:
first) I got to smoke again, with out feeling paranoid.
second) I had a lovely and funny time in the train with my friends...
third) I didn't sleep at home. I felt more at home where I slept than I do at my actual home. It was nice. I felt accepted and had an amazing evening.
Now I'd like to list three things that wasn't too pleasant for me yesterday:
first) I didn't have the chance to vomit after eating.
second) I got a little stressed-angry at my really good friend, because I'm always worried that I don't have enough time for anything. I can't stand being late if it isn't on my own terms..? and because we had to get to the bus stop in time for the bus, and my friend hadn't packed her stuff, we were late. So I got stressed and a little moody. I really regret that. And I hate myself for being that way. I will try to work on it so it doesn't affect me and my friends that more.
third) I found out that I'm going to share the bus ride to London with a dude I really can't stand. But it wasn't that unpleasant, I just wish he was up on the other bus.
That being written, I don't feel too good about myself today. I woke up besides my friend. She's so lovely. Her mom brought in a really amazing breakfast. I've only slept four hours, but I can't sleep anymore, even though I want to. Anyway... My friend is still sleeping, and when she told me she was going to sleep I didn't mind. And I really don't. She should get the amount of sleep needed for her. So I got up, took my cloths on. Picked up my laptop, iPod and walked into her living room(where I am now). I got out side, and sat on her balcony and smoked a couple of cigarettes. I felt the regret of eating yesterday and today. Especially without throwing it all up again. So after the smokes I went to the bathroom, vomited, but couldn't get it all up. Now I feel horrible about eating and not being able to get it out again. I hate myself for it. Really.
Now I'm sitting in this lovely chair in her living room, and feeling more at home than I do at my actual home. It's weird and kind of sad, I guess. I sit here thinking about my life. How fucked up it is somehow. How I feel like a pathetic loser.
I haven't cut in a very long time. The urge is the all the time, and I think about it too much every day. Right now, I just want to pick up my blade and slit my skin open. All these things makes me think, a lot, about how other people see me. If I wasn't me... I don't know what I would think. I guess I wouldn't even try to be friends with me. I can't see anything good about myself. I'm not funny, I'm not pretty, skinny, healthy... I'm a cutter, and I don't know, but I feel like I might be starting on an eating disorder. I want to die, but I don't. I want to know if my self gets any better. I'm hoping on it, but not counting on it. The thoughts about my life in the future, is me. Without that many friends, because most of them has just given up on me. Without a boyfriend, because when they have to be with me twenty-four/seven they'll finally find someone else who is better for them. Someone who isn't so pathetic as me. Someone not as fucked up. Someone I would want to be, but I'll never even get close. I want to change. I want a new me. It's just hard with the past and all the garbage and stuff I take with me. People always say, stop feeling like that, and start loving yourself. My thoughts to that saying is "It's hard going from hate to love". I think there are more and more people starting to feel as I do. That is probably the worst feelings you could ever have towards yourself. At least that's what I've been told.
When all that being written, I have a lot of anger towards the media. I hate the way they're like "love yourself no matter what. Size, appearance etc....", while showing us pictures of skinny, beautiful girls in magazines. You turn to the next page, and there is two whole pages with strategies of how to lose weight in a healthy way. I don't know how many girls actually do the stuff they write, but I know that a lot(including myself), get so frustrated, tired, sad and helpless. Then they turn to unhealthy methods, like starving, vomiting, etc. Some over eat, and become more unsatisfied with their body. I think it's so sad... because in the beginning the media and society is all like "eww, why is she/he so thin? why does s/he cut, just stop you pathetic loser! Ew, why doesn't s/he lose some weight? etc. etc. etc...." But, then. Suddenly, one of us commits suicide. Society changes for a second. They act another way, they start saying stuff like "that's so sad, s/he was such an amazing and beautiful person. Why hasn't anyone helped her/him. We all need to be more supportive. If you know people who might have and eating disorder, suicide thoughts, cut etc. help them out." For a while people open their eyes, thinks about their friends. Who might be next? When the second passes everything is back to "normal", and they forget about the pain people might have. I know you can't help everyone, you also have to take care of yourself. But just remember that the words you might have said or might be saying can hurt a person more than you can ever imagine. If you call a girl/boy (for example) fat, then telling her/him it was a joke, s/he can take it as your secret way for actually telling the truth, even though it might not be. When a person, like myself, has been thinking horribly about oneself their whole life, can get really awkward around sex, compliments and other stuff. For example, I am really not that comfortable around sex. I've only had it once(a one night stand). It wasn't good, but I wont get into details. When I was younger, some of my boundaries were crossed, and after a lot of thinking about it, I now know that that is the reason I'm that uncomfortable around it. I get nervous about the thought of giving head, having sex, foreplay and all that stuff. I've told two of my really amazing friends about the story about it. What happened and my feelings behind it. One of them told me that "If someone who was supposed to respect your boundaries suddenly breaks it, it doesn't matter how much they've crossed the line, just the fact that they did, can affect and hurt you so much". I think it was the most perfect way to describe it.
Alright. I'm sorry for writing so much. That wasn't my intetion, but I just had to put my thoughts in writing. Love you all, stay safe and strong for me. xx
Something Something.
First of all I wanted to list three good things that happened yesterday:
first) I got to smoke again, with out feeling paranoid.
second) I had a lovely and funny time in the train with my friends...
third) I didn't sleep at home. I felt more at home where I slept than I do at my actual home. It was nice. I felt accepted and had an amazing evening.
Now I'd like to list three things that wasn't too pleasant for me yesterday:
first) I didn't have the chance to vomit after eating.
second) I got a little stressed-angry at my really good friend, because I'm always worried that I don't have enough time for anything. I can't stand being late if it isn't on my own terms..? and because we had to get to the bus stop in time for the bus, and my friend hadn't packed her stuff, we were late. So I got stressed and a little moody. I really regret that. And I hate myself for being that way. I will try to work on it so it doesn't affect me and my friends that more.
third) I found out that I'm going to share the bus ride to London with a dude I really can't stand. But it wasn't that unpleasant, I just wish he was up on the other bus.
That being written, I don't feel too good about myself today. I woke up besides my friend. She's so lovely. Her mom brought in a really amazing breakfast. I've only slept four hours, but I can't sleep anymore, even though I want to. Anyway... My friend is still sleeping, and when she told me she was going to sleep I didn't mind. And I really don't. She should get the amount of sleep needed for her. So I got up, took my cloths on. Picked up my laptop, iPod and walked into her living room(where I am now). I got out side, and sat on her balcony and smoked a couple of cigarettes. I felt the regret of eating yesterday and today. Especially without throwing it all up again. So after the smokes I went to the bathroom, vomited, but couldn't get it all up. Now I feel horrible about eating and not being able to get it out again. I hate myself for it. Really.
Now I'm sitting in this lovely chair in her living room, and feeling more at home than I do at my actual home. It's weird and kind of sad, I guess. I sit here thinking about my life. How fucked up it is somehow. How I feel like a pathetic loser.
I haven't cut in a very long time. The urge is the all the time, and I think about it too much every day. Right now, I just want to pick up my blade and slit my skin open. All these things makes me think, a lot, about how other people see me. If I wasn't me... I don't know what I would think. I guess I wouldn't even try to be friends with me. I can't see anything good about myself. I'm not funny, I'm not pretty, skinny, healthy... I'm a cutter, and I don't know, but I feel like I might be starting on an eating disorder. I want to die, but I don't. I want to know if my self gets any better. I'm hoping on it, but not counting on it. The thoughts about my life in the future, is me. Without that many friends, because most of them has just given up on me. Without a boyfriend, because when they have to be with me twenty-four/seven they'll finally find someone else who is better for them. Someone who isn't so pathetic as me. Someone not as fucked up. Someone I would want to be, but I'll never even get close. I want to change. I want a new me. It's just hard with the past and all the garbage and stuff I take with me. People always say, stop feeling like that, and start loving yourself. My thoughts to that saying is "It's hard going from hate to love". I think there are more and more people starting to feel as I do. That is probably the worst feelings you could ever have towards yourself. At least that's what I've been told.
When all that being written, I have a lot of anger towards the media. I hate the way they're like "love yourself no matter what. Size, appearance etc....", while showing us pictures of skinny, beautiful girls in magazines. You turn to the next page, and there is two whole pages with strategies of how to lose weight in a healthy way. I don't know how many girls actually do the stuff they write, but I know that a lot(including myself), get so frustrated, tired, sad and helpless. Then they turn to unhealthy methods, like starving, vomiting, etc. Some over eat, and become more unsatisfied with their body. I think it's so sad... because in the beginning the media and society is all like "eww, why is she/he so thin? why does s/he cut, just stop you pathetic loser! Ew, why doesn't s/he lose some weight? etc. etc. etc...." But, then. Suddenly, one of us commits suicide. Society changes for a second. They act another way, they start saying stuff like "that's so sad, s/he was such an amazing and beautiful person. Why hasn't anyone helped her/him. We all need to be more supportive. If you know people who might have and eating disorder, suicide thoughts, cut etc. help them out." For a while people open their eyes, thinks about their friends. Who might be next? When the second passes everything is back to "normal", and they forget about the pain people might have. I know you can't help everyone, you also have to take care of yourself. But just remember that the words you might have said or might be saying can hurt a person more than you can ever imagine. If you call a girl/boy (for example) fat, then telling her/him it was a joke, s/he can take it as your secret way for actually telling the truth, even though it might not be. When a person, like myself, has been thinking horribly about oneself their whole life, can get really awkward around sex, compliments and other stuff. For example, I am really not that comfortable around sex. I've only had it once(a one night stand). It wasn't good, but I wont get into details. When I was younger, some of my boundaries were crossed, and after a lot of thinking about it, I now know that that is the reason I'm that uncomfortable around it. I get nervous about the thought of giving head, having sex, foreplay and all that stuff. I've told two of my really amazing friends about the story about it. What happened and my feelings behind it. One of them told me that "If someone who was supposed to respect your boundaries suddenly breaks it, it doesn't matter how much they've crossed the line, just the fact that they did, can affect and hurt you so much". I think it was the most perfect way to describe it.
Alright. I'm sorry for writing so much. That wasn't my intetion, but I just had to put my thoughts in writing. Love you all, stay safe and strong for me. xx
Something Something.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
dskjafdnflaksvd
Okay, so if you haven't noticed, my posts are really not that awesome... When you watch movies and a character has a blog... their blog is super amazing, they got lots of followers, and writes amazing stuff.. well.. right now, I just wanna write that listening to Vinnie Who, while doing homework, is a hard thing to do. I wanna dance every time I listen to his music. Anyways... Live life to the fullest!(I just thought there should be some quote-shit at the end.. so BAM there you got!)
xxxx
ME
xxxx
ME
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tumblr.
I've got a Tumblr account, and I use it a lot more than blogger(sorry). Anyways, it would mean a lot to me, if you would just take a look at my tumblr :)
www.yourno1bitch.tumblr.com
It would really mean everythinng to me :)
xxx
www.yourno1bitch.tumblr.com
It would really mean everythinng to me :)
xxx
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
chop chop!!
So anyways.. I have kinda longish curly hair. I like it.. but I'm getting kinda tired of it. I've been thinking about cutting it real short, but I'm afraid I either can't pull it off, or that I'm gonna regret it. But I'm also kinda thinking that if I don't I'll regret that too... and that it's better to do it now than when I'm 50... so why the hell don't I just jump into it? I mean come on.. I'm such a sissy!
Love to you!
xx
Love to you!
xx
Thursday, March 22, 2012
I'M SO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!
HEY GUYS!
I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY! Its been ages since I've posted something new. There has been too much going on lately and I've also been a bit sick :|
Anyways, today's blog-post is going to be about my messy room.. or something.. I actually have no idea what this post is going to be about... We'll only know that when I've posted it!
Okay, I know. I nearly never buy new cloths, except if I truly need it. So I bought this new Alis hoody or what ever you call it :
I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY! Its been ages since I've posted something new. There has been too much going on lately and I've also been a bit sick :|
Anyways, today's blog-post is going to be about my messy room.. or something.. I actually have no idea what this post is going to be about... We'll only know that when I've posted it!
Okay, I know. I nearly never buy new cloths, except if I truly need it. So I bought this new Alis hoody or what ever you call it :
As I said I never buy cloths if I don't need it. So I invested in that hoody-thingy on the picture above. It caused me 700 danish kroner's, which is 78,44 British pounds, or 123,95 US dollars.
I use it a lot, and after I bought it I was having second thoughts, but I'm so glad I bought it(even though it smells a little bit of hash)
Love from Me ^^
Thursday, March 1, 2012
nightmare
last night.. while sleeping of course i had this nightmare. It was so wired. My friend were there, and his friend too. We were in a room in my house, but we had rented it to my friends friend. Lets give the friends names, cause that will make the nightmare easier to understand.
Lets call my friend Mike and his friend Steve.
Me, Mike and Steve were sitting on this huge bed, and we were talking and having fun. When all of a sudden Steve's face turned wired. It was like he was jealous of Mike, and wanted him to get out of the way. And then! Steve began to strangle Mike. Mike blacked out, and I was all like "oh shit!" totally frightened for what he would do to me.
Mike woke up again, and Steve got 'normal'. So we talked, but i was totally freaked out. Mike and I went out to "get us some drinks" while Steve was still in the other room. We didn't get the drinks, but we got our jackets, so we could run away. I had only gotten my shoes on when Steve appeared behind Mike, and strangled him once again, for good. Mike fell down on the floor. I opened the door as fast as i possibly could, and ran. But i could hear Steve running behind me. He eventually caught up with me. He grabbed my arms, inappropriate stuff happened.
I woke up all sweaty. I was so fucking nervous. The only person I know in real life was Mike. I'd never seen the Steve guy, but he reminded me of someone. Which is pretty creepy.
well that was my nightmare..
xx
Sweet Dreams!
Lets call my friend Mike and his friend Steve.
Me, Mike and Steve were sitting on this huge bed, and we were talking and having fun. When all of a sudden Steve's face turned wired. It was like he was jealous of Mike, and wanted him to get out of the way. And then! Steve began to strangle Mike. Mike blacked out, and I was all like "oh shit!" totally frightened for what he would do to me.
Mike woke up again, and Steve got 'normal'. So we talked, but i was totally freaked out. Mike and I went out to "get us some drinks" while Steve was still in the other room. We didn't get the drinks, but we got our jackets, so we could run away. I had only gotten my shoes on when Steve appeared behind Mike, and strangled him once again, for good. Mike fell down on the floor. I opened the door as fast as i possibly could, and ran. But i could hear Steve running behind me. He eventually caught up with me. He grabbed my arms, inappropriate stuff happened.
I woke up all sweaty. I was so fucking nervous. The only person I know in real life was Mike. I'd never seen the Steve guy, but he reminded me of someone. Which is pretty creepy.
well that was my nightmare..
xx
Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
TODAY'S OUTFIT!!:D:D:D
Hey there... again!:3
I'm kinda bored. I dare all of you reading my shitty post to do the following!(WARNING! It is fully your responsobility if your parents don't find the "pranks" funny. You do not have to do all the wired stuff i wrote, I'm just a bored teenager!)
1- go to a family member(preferably your mom or dad), lets say its your mother. Ask her this:
"I just found out that I'm half unicorn and half human... Who did you cheat on?"
(LAME!!)
2- draw a mustache... but not above your lip! Draw a awesome curly one, between your eyes, or on your forhead... and go for a walk... in public.. or just take a photo of your new swag style, and post it on which ever network you use.
3- Learn danish... on youtube?;)
4- go to your mom or dad, and tell them that your pregnant or you knocked up a gal from school.
5- make your own meme on memebase, or a similar site.
6- Listen to Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics
7- get all kinds of food out of your fridge. Close your eyes. Pick 3-5 things. Put 'em together, and eat it as a sandwich.
8- do something wired with your hair. IF you don't have any hair, or not enough to do your hair different. Then try your moms lipstick on. If your a guy, then tell her that its your new look.
9- If you have done all these things you are now AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU!
10- get away from this blog... or don't :D But at least before you go, check out today's outfit;'
I'm kinda bored. I dare all of you reading my shitty post to do the following!(WARNING! It is fully your responsobility if your parents don't find the "pranks" funny. You do not have to do all the wired stuff i wrote, I'm just a bored teenager!)
1- go to a family member(preferably your mom or dad), lets say its your mother. Ask her this:
"I just found out that I'm half unicorn and half human... Who did you cheat on?"
(LAME!!)
2- draw a mustache... but not above your lip! Draw a awesome curly one, between your eyes, or on your forhead... and go for a walk... in public.. or just take a photo of your new swag style, and post it on which ever network you use.
3- Learn danish... on youtube?;)
4- go to your mom or dad, and tell them that your pregnant or you knocked up a gal from school.
5- make your own meme on memebase, or a similar site.
6- Listen to Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics
7- get all kinds of food out of your fridge. Close your eyes. Pick 3-5 things. Put 'em together, and eat it as a sandwich.
8- do something wired with your hair. IF you don't have any hair, or not enough to do your hair different. Then try your moms lipstick on. If your a guy, then tell her that its your new look.
9- If you have done all these things you are now AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU!
10- get away from this blog... or don't :D But at least before you go, check out today's outfit;'
Amy Amy Amy
All though I've been here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms97mz3H69E
Listin to the link!
I'm just making a statement. After Amy's death, some dickheads wrote on her facebook page. Stuff like, I'm so glad your dead. Your a good example of failure.. ect, ect, ect.
I got really offendet that peeps can be so cruel. I mean, come on! She was a wonderful person. She prob had problems. Don't we all? Some cut, some cry, some take drugs and stuff like that to make the pain vanish. Why the hell do you only look at the down side of her? She was beautiful, and had an amazing voice. Take a look at this:
I mean... come one. She was so beautiful and unique. I would have give anything to look like her.
I know she didn't always look like that because of the drugs ect. But... If you look past those photos, she really was beautiful.
My she rest in peace.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms97mz3H69E
Listin to the link!
I'm just making a statement. After Amy's death, some dickheads wrote on her facebook page. Stuff like, I'm so glad your dead. Your a good example of failure.. ect, ect, ect.
I got really offendet that peeps can be so cruel. I mean, come on! She was a wonderful person. She prob had problems. Don't we all? Some cut, some cry, some take drugs and stuff like that to make the pain vanish. Why the hell do you only look at the down side of her? She was beautiful, and had an amazing voice. Take a look at this:
I mean... come one. She was so beautiful and unique. I would have give anything to look like her.
I know she didn't always look like that because of the drugs ect. But... If you look past those photos, she really was beautiful.
My she rest in peace.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
OMG!!D:
OMG!! I'm like super sorry... or.. I'm just.. what ever.. ANYWAYS! I haven't been writing for a long time.. and I guess I'm sorry? ahahah well.. anyways.. so I wanted to let you guys know, that I got a tiny holiday... and I got like 4 days of it left. And my dad was like; So, on Wednesday your going to be all "depressed" because by then the holiday is almost over.
I was like:
http://myfacewhen.com/106/
Its Wednesday now.. I'm far away from being depressed..
So what did I do this depressing day?
I watched The Office, and I just got home from this shop, where I bought some fabric for a dress I'm gonna sow...
I was like:
http://myfacewhen.com/106/
Its Wednesday now.. I'm far away from being depressed..
So what did I do this depressing day?
I watched The Office, and I just got home from this shop, where I bought some fabric for a dress I'm gonna sow...
Saturday, February 4, 2012
AbCdEfGhIjKlMnOpQrStUvWxZæØå
OMG! I'm bored!!
I just watched the messengers. Pfft... did not like the movie. I laughed a lot during it, though. Anyways... I might watch the office?
fgahdak WHAT I wanted to saaay wass.. or.. I wanted to write down (for you smart ass peeps) what I've been doin today :D
1) Mom woke le me up. D:
2) ate breakfast.
3) cleaned my super messy room up :3
4) Did my math homework, and some other homework :D
5) Erhmm... I guess I just looked around on wired pages on le internet?
6) Oh yeah!! I gave my dogs paws a hair cut xD He looks so fancy now.
7) Something something...
8) DINNER!
9) Walked to the train station, to get my bike back. It was so fucking cold my toes almost fell off!
10) watched the messengers with cake and tea :3
AhAhA You just wasted some valuable time of your life, reading this shit. I'm so sorry. But please don't blame le me xD
I just watched the messengers. Pfft... did not like the movie. I laughed a lot during it, though. Anyways... I might watch the office?
fgahdak WHAT I wanted to saaay wass.. or.. I wanted to write down (for you smart ass peeps) what I've been doin today :D
1) Mom woke le me up. D:
2) ate breakfast.
3) cleaned my super messy room up :3
4) Did my math homework, and some other homework :D
5) Erhmm... I guess I just looked around on wired pages on le internet?
6) Oh yeah!! I gave my dogs paws a hair cut xD He looks so fancy now.
7) Something something...
8) DINNER!
9) Walked to the train station, to get my bike back. It was so fucking cold my toes almost fell off!
10) watched the messengers with cake and tea :3
AhAhA You just wasted some valuable time of your life, reading this shit. I'm so sorry. But please don't blame le me xD
Thursday, February 2, 2012
The Office
My sister showed me this TV series, which is called : The Office. And its not the UK one, but I think, or my sister told me its a parody on the UK one. Anyways, its fucking hilarious and you should really watch some of it!
I wound a website where you can find it:
http://www.free-tv-video-online.me/
Me and all my useful knowledge xD
I wound a website where you can find it:
http://www.free-tv-video-online.me/
Me and all my useful knowledge xD
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
HAHAHAH!!
Well... I was walking my dog today. It was really cold out side, so I thought that if I ran, I might not frees that much. So I ran a bit. My left leg began to hurt a little, but I thought "Pfft, just run it off you sissy!" So i kept running.
BAAAM!!
I was laying on the ground, and now my pants are ripped, and I've got a wound on my knee xD It was so hilarious and I began laughing my ass off.
At dinner today, I was eating spagetti. And on my second bit, my mouth turned so fucking hot I couldn't breath. I was like "WTF IS IN THIS?"Totally freaking out, and my dad was like "Oh, you just got one of the chilly's" My face - D:
My thought - why didn't you warn me???
15 min later, my mouth was ok. again.
But dudes, don't take me as a sissy, cause I like chilly. This was just hotter than hell, I've never tried anything like it!D:
ahahha and now I'm laughing all by myself, while thinking of my face expression xD
HILARIOUS!!
BAAAM!!
I was laying on the ground, and now my pants are ripped, and I've got a wound on my knee xD It was so hilarious and I began laughing my ass off.
At dinner today, I was eating spagetti. And on my second bit, my mouth turned so fucking hot I couldn't breath. I was like "WTF IS IN THIS?"Totally freaking out, and my dad was like "Oh, you just got one of the chilly's" My face - D:
My thought - why didn't you warn me???
15 min later, my mouth was ok. again.
But dudes, don't take me as a sissy, cause I like chilly. This was just hotter than hell, I've never tried anything like it!D:
ahahha and now I'm laughing all by myself, while thinking of my face expression xD
HILARIOUS!!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Woups.. and Accents?
Hey there!
I realized that the last few posts has been about how much I hate my body. Well... the following I am going to write, isn't going to be about my weight ect. Its gonna be about some other random stuff. Its gonna be about:
wait for it!
wait for it!!
Its gonna be about the different English accents.
The ones I know is the following:
Australian accent
US accent
British accent
I know there are many more... But I just chose these three to talk bout.
Which accent is the cutest?
Well! The accent I find the cutest is the aussi accent. They just have this cute way of talking. The first time I heard a person talk aussi, I just smiled. I found it so cute, I can't describe it, its just hilariously cute!
You can't really(or at least I can't) try to talk aussi-like, cause they put the pressure on the words differently.
Which accent do I talk?
I talk the American(US) way. I learned it in an early age so I got the accent pretty good. I've heard that its proven that after the age 10 or so, you cant get the accents, because something something, I can't remember what it is, but you just can't get the accents right, or at least its a lot harder to get it right, that if you learn it in a young age.
Which accent do I like the least?
Well, I really don't know. I like all of 'em. Sometimes I get annoyed by the British, and sometimes I get annoyed by the US accent. But I really like all of 'em. So there really isn't any accent I don't like. They all have their charm.
Which accent do I like the best?
I think my answer here is going to be the same as the one above ^.
But if I have to chose a fav. It might be the aussi cause its so fucking cute *v*
Why did I write this?
Because I'm a teenager with no life. Its weekend, I should be sleeping by now... But I got bored. Teehee!!
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!!
(and if you read this, I'm sorry that you just spend some seconds/minutes of your life on this crap I've written)
I realized that the last few posts has been about how much I hate my body. Well... the following I am going to write, isn't going to be about my weight ect. Its gonna be about some other random stuff. Its gonna be about:
wait for it!
wait for it!!
Its gonna be about the different English accents.
The ones I know is the following:
Australian accent
US accent
British accent
I know there are many more... But I just chose these three to talk bout.
Which accent is the cutest?
Well! The accent I find the cutest is the aussi accent. They just have this cute way of talking. The first time I heard a person talk aussi, I just smiled. I found it so cute, I can't describe it, its just hilariously cute!
You can't really(or at least I can't) try to talk aussi-like, cause they put the pressure on the words differently.
Which accent do I talk?
I talk the American(US) way. I learned it in an early age so I got the accent pretty good. I've heard that its proven that after the age 10 or so, you cant get the accents, because something something, I can't remember what it is, but you just can't get the accents right, or at least its a lot harder to get it right, that if you learn it in a young age.
Which accent do I like the least?
Well, I really don't know. I like all of 'em. Sometimes I get annoyed by the British, and sometimes I get annoyed by the US accent. But I really like all of 'em. So there really isn't any accent I don't like. They all have their charm.
Which accent do I like the best?
I think my answer here is going to be the same as the one above ^.
But if I have to chose a fav. It might be the aussi cause its so fucking cute *v*
Why did I write this?
Because I'm a teenager with no life. Its weekend, I should be sleeping by now... But I got bored. Teehee!!
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!!
(and if you read this, I'm sorry that you just spend some seconds/minutes of your life on this crap I've written)
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Me+ Weight loss = not going to happen
Hey there!
So as you can read, Me+Weight loss = never going to happen. What I mean by this, is that many young boys and girls want to loss weight, even though they are stunning, and you would kill for their body. When I look in the mirror, I see fat. Fat arms, fat legs, fat face, fat everything. I really don't enjoy looking at my body either with cloths or without. I really want a body like Alecia Beth Moor a.k.a P!nk. I really love her body, its absolutely gorgeous. I have tryed a lot of times to get in shape, but my body figure is the type with big hips, and when I eat like only one single piece of chocolate, I get fat.
But when I work out and stuff, I do loss weight. But if i only eat one fucking single piece of chocolate, it turns into fat just like BAAM!!
I really don't feel good about my body.
For instens, today. His boy picked me up, and as I got down again, I felt so fat, and now I'm worried that he's gonna talk about how fucking heavy I am to other peeps. Therefore I never let people pick/lift me up, and I never sit on peeps laps or something like that.
Right now I weigh 57kg. I used to weigh 55kg. I'm really sad about my weight. I want to lose 7kg.s even though, if I do that, I'll be underweight. Right now losing those 7kg.s is a must for me. I want to get thin/slim. I don't want to worry about peeps picking me up, or sitting on others laps.
So as you can read, Me+Weight loss = never going to happen. What I mean by this, is that many young boys and girls want to loss weight, even though they are stunning, and you would kill for their body. When I look in the mirror, I see fat. Fat arms, fat legs, fat face, fat everything. I really don't enjoy looking at my body either with cloths or without. I really want a body like Alecia Beth Moor a.k.a P!nk. I really love her body, its absolutely gorgeous. I have tryed a lot of times to get in shape, but my body figure is the type with big hips, and when I eat like only one single piece of chocolate, I get fat.
But when I work out and stuff, I do loss weight. But if i only eat one fucking single piece of chocolate, it turns into fat just like BAAM!!
I really don't feel good about my body.
For instens, today. His boy picked me up, and as I got down again, I felt so fat, and now I'm worried that he's gonna talk about how fucking heavy I am to other peeps. Therefore I never let people pick/lift me up, and I never sit on peeps laps or something like that.
Right now I weigh 57kg. I used to weigh 55kg. I'm really sad about my weight. I want to lose 7kg.s even though, if I do that, I'll be underweight. Right now losing those 7kg.s is a must for me. I want to get thin/slim. I don't want to worry about peeps picking me up, or sitting on others laps.
Right now..
So... I haven't been writing for a long time now, so I thought it would be a good idea just to write something.
Where should I start?
Well yesterday, I watched the new Desperate Housewives episode while cleaning my room. I really don't want that serie to stop, cause I kinda enjoy watching it.
Anyway...
I just got home from school. Ate some chocolate, turned on the TV, got my computer... facebook turned into tumblr, then blogspot, messenger, and now blogspot again.
There's nothing good bout the TV right now... there's only shitty music. Although Muse was just playing(can't remember which song:/ ).
Anyways.. I just wanted to post something :D so, here you go ;)
xx something something
Where should I start?
Well yesterday, I watched the new Desperate Housewives episode while cleaning my room. I really don't want that serie to stop, cause I kinda enjoy watching it.
Anyway...
I just got home from school. Ate some chocolate, turned on the TV, got my computer... facebook turned into tumblr, then blogspot, messenger, and now blogspot again.
There's nothing good bout the TV right now... there's only shitty music. Although Muse was just playing(can't remember which song:/ ).
Anyways.. I just wanted to post something :D so, here you go ;)
xx something something
Monday, January 9, 2012
Life?
How often do I want to talk to a complet stranger. Really often. I think its sad, how we just walk around, playing music that only you can hear. We don't talk to people on the streets, and people think your wired if you do. How did this happen?
I wish that we could all talk to each other, without any fear of getting looked at in the wrong way.
I wish that some people would do what they felt like, and not being afraid of people judging them. Like wearing the cloths they want to, and not just the stuff that's in right now. Cut their hair as they want.
I wish that children would remember to have a childhood. I feel like kids grow up too fast nowadays. It scares me. The children in 6th grade at my schools already wearing makeup, and wearing tight, low cut tops and push-up bras. I want to blame the parents, but some cant really see that its wired, or just too early. Some parents don't know what to do about it. And other parents maybe don't know it, because they might leave their home before the children has dressed, and others might have tried to change the way the child dresses but there were only negative response.
I wish that all the people who hates bisexuals or homosexuals would get more open minded to others opinions, and not look down at other people who has a different life style then they have. I mean... seriously, where is the peace and love like in the 80's or when ever the hippies were?
I wish that we could all talk to each other, without any fear of getting looked at in the wrong way.
I wish that some people would do what they felt like, and not being afraid of people judging them. Like wearing the cloths they want to, and not just the stuff that's in right now. Cut their hair as they want.
I wish that children would remember to have a childhood. I feel like kids grow up too fast nowadays. It scares me. The children in 6th grade at my schools already wearing makeup, and wearing tight, low cut tops and push-up bras. I want to blame the parents, but some cant really see that its wired, or just too early. Some parents don't know what to do about it. And other parents maybe don't know it, because they might leave their home before the children has dressed, and others might have tried to change the way the child dresses but there were only negative response.
I wish that all the people who hates bisexuals or homosexuals would get more open minded to others opinions, and not look down at other people who has a different life style then they have. I mean... seriously, where is the peace and love like in the 80's or when ever the hippies were?
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The power of speaking
I've been thinking about this, ever since I was really young;
How did we learn how to speak and understand what words sounds like and what they mean.
First of all I would like to start with saying that I don't have an answer for this question.
How is it, that our grand-grand parents, grand parents, parents, siblings and ourselves learned how to pronouns "letters", or just things we call words, that might actually just be a kind of small drawings with different meanings, but its not like an actual drawing, because you can pronouns it with just one verbal expression.
How did humans make some many different languages, and finding different symbols to all the different letters. I seriously don't get it. I'm quite fascinated by it actually. I just still don't get how we humans were able to make up languages, letters, words and find out how to pronounce every single word in the world.
... I think too much about everything ...
How did we learn how to speak and understand what words sounds like and what they mean.
First of all I would like to start with saying that I don't have an answer for this question.
How is it, that our grand-grand parents, grand parents, parents, siblings and ourselves learned how to pronouns "letters", or just things we call words, that might actually just be a kind of small drawings with different meanings, but its not like an actual drawing, because you can pronouns it with just one verbal expression.
How did humans make some many different languages, and finding different symbols to all the different letters. I seriously don't get it. I'm quite fascinated by it actually. I just still don't get how we humans were able to make up languages, letters, words and find out how to pronounce every single word in the world.
... I think too much about everything ...
Sunday, January 1, 2012
hot or not?
I really think that when Marilyn Manson was young.. like in his 20's... He was quiet hot. I would still totally do him if I got the chance.
Nearly everybody I know, think its weird that I have that feeling. I don't. Everyone has a different taste, and no one is the same. Therefore you will never have the same opinions with everyone.
The Question:
Why do I think Marilyn Manson is hot?
The Answer:
Well, my answer must be; Because I think, the way he speaks, makes my want to kiss him all night long. He is so smooth and so amazingly formulated when he talks.
I love his opinions about sex, cloths, music, parenting and his opinion on people who has a different religion/sexuality/ or any other thing that makes people different and unique.
His a smart and talented guy. Its not only the music that makes my love him, but also the kind of mystery he has .
Nearly everybody I know, think its weird that I have that feeling. I don't. Everyone has a different taste, and no one is the same. Therefore you will never have the same opinions with everyone.
The Question:
Why do I think Marilyn Manson is hot?
The Answer:
Well, my answer must be; Because I think, the way he speaks, makes my want to kiss him all night long. He is so smooth and so amazingly formulated when he talks.
I love his opinions about sex, cloths, music, parenting and his opinion on people who has a different religion/sexuality/ or any other thing that makes people different and unique.
His a smart and talented guy. Its not only the music that makes my love him, but also the kind of mystery he has .
HAPPY NEW YEARS!
^ EVERYONE!
I hope you had a great night yesterday. I'm looking foreword to this new year, with new experiences and fun. I hope everyone in the whole wide world will enjoy their life, and live a great one that they want to live!
This year for me is a year where I will move on with my life. Big changes are going to happen, and I am really excited. I want to get a great new start on my life, and not "forget" but kind of forget what happened last year, and look happily on this new year.
While writing this, I can't help but think of the year that has just passed us. It had its ups and downs. And for my sake, mostly downs. But this year, will be all about getting happier, lose the Christmas weight, getting my hair cut, new cloths, new friends, and a great time with everyone I truly care about.
Love to all of you out there.
And may you all have an amazing new year!
- Clandestine
I hope you had a great night yesterday. I'm looking foreword to this new year, with new experiences and fun. I hope everyone in the whole wide world will enjoy their life, and live a great one that they want to live!
This year for me is a year where I will move on with my life. Big changes are going to happen, and I am really excited. I want to get a great new start on my life, and not "forget" but kind of forget what happened last year, and look happily on this new year.
While writing this, I can't help but think of the year that has just passed us. It had its ups and downs. And for my sake, mostly downs. But this year, will be all about getting happier, lose the Christmas weight, getting my hair cut, new cloths, new friends, and a great time with everyone I truly care about.
Love to all of you out there.
And may you all have an amazing new year!
- Clandestine
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)